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Joke of the Day

"I hate when people use words without knowing the meaning...gives me a huge hysterectomy on the side of my head."

"Fred keeps telling me that he's going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. Oh what a shame! And you've been engaged for such a long time!"

"The hardest part of being Darth Vader is never being able to sneak up on anyone because your theme music started playing."

"TIL that 1 in 3 Women are Battered. ...And to think I have been eating them plain all this time."

"Q: Why do men have a hole in their penis? A: So they can think with an open mind."

"""Do you have a problem with drugs?"" ""Nah, I don't have a problem with drugs. I like all of them."""

"Occam's Disposable Razor When given multiple equally valid choices, choose the one that costs the least money."

"Yo mama so fat. . . I swerved my car to avoid hitting her and ran out of gas. Edit: TIL Reddit has very strong feelings about my mother."

"What do you call 2 Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan."

"How can you tell the clan of a Scotsman? Look under his kilt, if it's a quarter-pounder, he's a McDonald."