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Joke of the Day

"So I heard the workers in the Twin Towers tried to have chocolate delivered to them by drone. Asking for an Air Kraft wasn't one of their better ideas."

"""She is not fine."" ~Sun Tzu"

"""hoes before hos"" --the belief that your garden's needs should always come before your bitch's."

"What is a pirates favorite letter? No, it's the C."

"What do you call a fake Chinese iPhone? A slanted-iPhone"

"Friends are like boobs. You've got small ones, big ones, real ones, and fake ones."

"*she hears me singing in the shower* Her: oh he's so cute *she hears a guitar amp click on and feedback ring out* Her: NATE NOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"Am I the only one who feels bad breaking a family of bananas in half? This is how sensitive and crazy I am."

"Oh, Obama's credit card was declined? Michelle must have called the bank and told them she was tired of her husband always ""going Dutch."""

"Not sure if my cooking skills have improved or taste buds have adapted."