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Joke of the Day

"I'm not interested in your cat unless it's on its 8th life and about to do something incredibly stupid."

"If you've ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you've seen me wrapping Christmas presents."

"This morning I got in touch with my inner self. And that's also the last time I'll buy cheap toilet paper..."

"Mickey Mouse ""Doc, my knees hurt!"" Doctor: Which knee? Mickey: Disney"

"When someone in their 20's talks about ""old people"" they're talking about us."

"My other palindrome is a kayak. - racecar bumper sticker"

"Nude Descending a Staircase is both my favorite work of art and the most common entry on my criminal records."

"Teacher : What is a comet ? Pupil : A star with a tail Teacher: Can you name one ? Pupil: Lassie !"

"Toy Story 5: Jason Statham must deliver the last iPad to Uganda, in a prius, and he has to drift the entire trip or the car will explode"

"How does a mathematician get rid of constipation? He works it out with a pencil."