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Joke of the Day

"Usain Bolt runs at 31mph which sounds good, but if he hits a child there's a 40% chance they'll die."

Next Joke
 
"I'll get you wetter than a Scottish summer."
"What did the deaf nymphomaniac say? come again?"
"What did one skunk say to another? And so do you!"
"Why was the women unable to leave the boutique? She couldn't find the Dior"
"""Arise! Arise! Foul creatures, I command that you arise! ARISE!"" ""Dad, just once, couldn't you let mom or the alarm clock wake us?"" ""ARISE!"""
"Why did the bald man draw rabbits all over his head? From a distance they look like hares!"
"What Mrs. Dumpty gave Humpty?"
"I hate it when celebrities ask me to donate to some fund, you make 30 millions a movie & I make $30 a day. You send money."
"What do you call a herd of masturbating cows? Beef strokin' off"