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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a hormone? Kick her in the gut!"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog."

"It's cute the way you ignore the red squiggly line under all of your words."

"Well, say what you will about Jerry Sandusky... At least we know he drives slowly through school zones."

"I wish there was a job that required me to pet a room full of basset hounds all day long."

"*at the pharmacy* I WOULD LIKE THE PILLS THAT ALLOW ME TO CONTROL BIRTH *pharmacist blinks* GIVE THEM TO ME, SORCERER"

"Alsation: Was your master playing catch with you? Chihuahua: No I was playing throw with her!"

"We've hired a new accountant. Her name is Helen Wait. Anyone expecting a check from us can go to Helen Wait."

"What did the french bloomers say to the sexy thong? Well I've 'ad me ups n downs, but I've never been pushed to one side..."

"Matt Schaub and Eli Manning walk into a bar. What happened? They order a beer sampler and the bartender tells them to pick 6."