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Joke of the Day

"Clinton fan: Emails? That's all you've got? Me: She sold the Saudis the jets that are massacring Yemenis Clinton fan: Emails? That's all you"

"What do you call a crush on a fat person? An inFATuation"

"So a guy walks into a punchline... The punchline-tender says, ""Why the dumb joke?"""

"I like my beer the way I like my violence. Domestic."

"Misfortune Cookie After finishing our Chinese food, my husband and I cracked open our fortune cookies. Mine read, ""Be quiet for a little while."" His read, ""Talk while you have a chance."""

"The problem with teaching a man to fish is that eventually somebody will microwave that fish in the work break room."

"What did the prostitute say after fucking Jesus? Nailed it!"

"""What'd you do this weekend?"" I was shooting craps. ""Oh you went to a casino?"" *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah."

"Why don't people like talking about herpes? It's a sore subject."

"How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One."