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Joke of the Day

"Why did God make man before woman? You need a rough draft before you have a final copy."

"each Subway franchise owns a tiny shred of Jared's fat pants. if you pay $50 you may gaze at the relic"

"Confucious he say... Man who fart in church, sit in his own pew..."

"The Molotov cocktail is of course named after Vitaly Molotov, an 18th century Russian industrialist who exploded after being thrown at a car"

"How does Thor's brother like to party? He likes to keep it pretty Lo-key"

"How do you tell the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste."

"All I wanna do is [gun shot noise] [cash register noise] [organ noise] [saxophone noise] [cow noise] [cat noise] Fix this broken synthesizer"

"Why can you RAN in a campsite, but never RUN in a campsite? Because it's always past-tents."

"What do you call a big Eastern European sausage? Kielbasa (Often Pronounced Ca-Ba-Sa.)"

"They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody."