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Joke of the Day

"Is it just me, or do toasters have like 4 settings too many? They should have 1 setting that reads: ""Toast"""

"I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added ""they fall right off"""

"I told my wife we are all reincarnated, but MUST come back as a different creature. She said she wanted to come back as a cow..... .... then I said: ""You obviously haven't been listening""."

"What's a man's idea of a balanced diet? Beer in each hand!"

"I bought a Lamborghini that tells dark jokes It goes from 0-100 real fast"

"Why procrastinate today when you can procrastinate tomorrow?"

"""What's a good gift for someone who has everything?"" Meth. Next year they'll have nothing it'll be easier."

"Lawyers are safe company to have for girls. They will be concerned about Your Honour more than their own."

"Horny rooster What does a normal rooster say? cock-a-doodle-doo! what does a horny rooster say? any-cock-will-do!"

"I told my Chinese friend that I like homemade gifts.... So for Christmas he gave me an iPhone, iPad and an iMac."