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Joke of the Day

"Please don't tell me about your methods of increasing drag on your car It would be a spoiler alert"

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"Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer The first one says to the other one, ""Does this taste funny to you?"" The other one says, ""No."""
"Overheard: Augustus Caesar on New Year's Day: ""I keep writing 'B.C.' on all my checks."""
"Scariest thing ever The scariest thing in the world is waking up with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. I was so scared I almost swerved off the road!"
"My wife was raped by a troupe of mimes They did unspeakable things to her"
"I got really drunk last night, so I decided to take the bus home... I've never driven a bus before!"
"I can't even I feel the phrase ""I can't even"" is rather odd."
"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He wiped his arse."
"dude *scoffs like 7 times in a row* of course i'm not a virgin... i have lots of *starts readin hand, ink is hella smudged* secular intercom"
"The maple leafs are my favourite curling team Always sliding down the ice bumping into the walls and never hitting the bullseye."