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Joke of the Day

"Intellectual person on phone. Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?"

"Did you hear about the actress who died? SO: ""Did you hear about that actress who died? Reese...Reese..? Me: ""Witherspoon?"" SO: ""No. With a knife."" Me: ""..."" Legitimate laughter ensued."

"If you steal somebody's rap lyrics, is it a rob-bar-y?"

"what do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! :D"

"Why was the fruit farmer losing money? He couldn't grow a pear"

"What do you call a turlte that flies? a shellocopter. damn homies"

"I decided when I turn 21 I'm only going to smoke cigarettes when I drink Guess I'm going to be an alcoholic"

"This oxygen mask is bullshit. I don't look like oxygen at all."

"Where did the general put his armies? In his SLEEVIES!!!"

"Football joke Joke: What is the difference between Arjen Robben and the time?"