87876

Joke of the Day

"Cats make the best boyfriends because they're soft, loyal, and won't claim they're straight but then turn gay after one lousy date, BRENT!"

"My kid just called Child Protective Services because he still has an iPhone 5S."

"I saw a chameleon today... ...guess it was a pretty shitty chameleon. *I submitted this joke a few years ago, I'm reposting myself (which was originally also a repost)*"

"What did the cat say when the delivery man was leaving? Purolator."

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard & they're like ""How did your milkshake develop a gravitational pull that was gender specific?"""

"TIL that Funimation has an unreleased Dragon Ball Z episode where they just improved the whole script. Oops. Wrong dub. (Real oops. Meant to type improvised)"

"Odo walks down the alley and turns into a bar."

"I think the implication that you might want to share your Kit Kat with 3 friends seems unreasonable."

"[first day as funeral director] this is the dress she wants to be buried in ""It's very pretty but we highly suggest a coffin"""

"what do you call a pissed off group of door handles? An angry knob"