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Joke of the Day
"Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a night Set a man on fire and he'll be warm till he dies"
Next Joke
"Have you heard about Michigan's music scene?? I hear there's a lot of heavy metal in Flint. :^)"
"Jared Blames Weight loss for his paedophillia. He could finally catch them."
"There's a spider in my bathroom. I neither can kill it or capture it, so now it has its very own room in my house to raise its spider family"
"Q: What kind of fence goes on strike? A: A picket fence."
"[announcement over PA at work] ""FREE TACOS IN THE BREAKROOM"" *I walk there so fast the noise from my corduroys breaks everyone's eyeglasses*"
"How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?"
"Me: I'm going to bed after this episode. Netflix: Hahahahahaha! Sure. Ok."
"My kids operate the house under the HYDRA principle For every light I turn off, three more get turned on to take their place."
"I was at a restaurant and my waitress had a black eye... So I ordered really slow, because she obviously doesn't listen"