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Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar for every gender there is I'd have $2"

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"Black ice is just like regular ice except it dies first in movies."
"That moment when you laugh so much about your friends joke you end up farting accidently."
"If asked at a job interview ""what's your biggest weakness"", test their tolerance for honesty by replying ""mortality"""
"You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts."
"Oh Jesus another fuckin day, they just keep comin."
"Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump or swim is already in the states."
"What does 70 year old pussy taste like? Depends."
"How do you call... ...a girl that only dates men who own expensive cars? Porschetitute."
"What does ISIS call wine snobs? Zinfandels!!!!!!"