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Joke of the Day

"What's the square root of 69? Ate something."

"Why does Marx support New Years Eve celebrations? Well, it's got everyone out and about, celebrating another revolution..... (I'll show myself out)"

"What did the spice merchant say when someone knocked on his door? Cumin!"

"I went to an 'Army Style training day'... I don't feel any fitter but my boots and bed look immaculate."

"I named my cat ""Curiosity"". He killed himself ... Nine times."

"[NSWF] What's the difference between acne and priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face."

"My pet mouse Elvis died today He got caught in a trap."

"Father: When Abe Lincoln was your age he walked 9 miles to school and did homework by candlelight. Son: When Lincoln was your age he was President"

"Ugly is such an ugly word. If you must describe me I'd prefer if you used the term ""handsomely-challenged"""

"Who forgot his phone charger today? THIS gu"