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Joke of the Day
"Why did the lettuce blush? Because he saw the salad dressing"
Next Joke
"What do a guitar and a drum have in common? Neither of them are a clarinet!"
"My wife: ever since you got on twitter you never listen or talk to me any more. Me: yeah spaghetti for sure!"
"You're fat Don't sugar coat it, you'd eat that too"
"""You know, I'm doomed to get eternal damnation to the Hell"" said Edward Cullen. -- Because you are a vampire, creature of Night and Darkness? -- No, because I'm an atheist."
"Rude coworker said something very dumb & mean to me. She blamed it on pregnancy brain. I asked her if she was having triplets."
"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *Cough-Choke-Cough-Gag-Cough*"
"*Hands you a handbasket* You know what to do......."
"My dick was once in the Guinness Book of Records. World's smallest dick."
"The worst feeling is when you miss someone but you can't even tell them you miss them because they are a pizza."