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Joke of the Day

"Simba - ""welcome to... The bone zone"" Nala - ""the what?"" Simba - ""elephant graveyard. I said elephant graveyard"""

"If you don't leave a buffet looking like someone told you bad news you didn't get your money's worth."

"Can putting ketchup on everything affect your credit score?"

"People always say to do exercise, I do Breathing... Could I be more WORKING!"

"My daughter asked me how much longer until she can be a grown up and I said, ""no."""

"Lesbians why do lesbians go to sports authority becuase they dont like dicks"

"The most Canadian sentence ever. Sorry aboot spilling too much maple syrup into your Tim Hortons coffee, eh?"

"What's the difference between three dicks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke!"

"The NSA killed my Internet Now I have to build a GNU one."

"Boss: Just spend the company's money with the same discretion as you would your own. Me: I understand. *bankrupts the company"