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Joke of the Day

"Theres one thing that you can't say on Reddit: [removed]"

"Her: I'm leaving you Me: Because of the ancient Roman literature puns? Her: Yah Me: But Aenid you"

"I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shit in days"

"I'm single because I'm pretty good at recognizing crazy."

"Can February march? April may."

"What do you get when you cross a Jehova's Witness with a Hell's Angel? Someone who knocks on your door and tells YOU to fuck off."

"What did they find floating in the toilet of the S.S Enterprise? Captains Log"

"Which is more threatening? A big sword or a small sword? The small sword - it's a little rapier"

"I saw a guy struggling with the frozen vending machine trying to get some ice cream. Really paralleled my attempts to reach my ex-girlfriend's heart."

"Did you hear about the guy who tried to mend his belt with watches? It was a waste of time"