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Joke of the Day

"48% of soda fountains tested positive for possible fecal contamination, meaning it's likely you've unknowingly been drinking cream soda."

"What does a guy with 2 right feet wear to the beach? Flop-Flops"

"Have you been injured in a car accident? call 555-bottom-feeders. We will do anything for money."

"What's a baby hen called? Chic hen"

"What is the difference between Emo teenagers and your lawn? Your lawn won't cut itself."

"Rude limerick anyone? There was a man from Leeds who swallowed a packet of seeds. Great tufts of grass grew out of his arse, and his balls were infested with weeds."

"*CRASH* *THUMP* *SCREAM* *Husband runs into bedroom* H: OHMYGOD ARE YOU OKAY? Me: Yeah. Just taking off my sports bra."

"I always buy pre-written cards for people I dislike. If I'm going to lie about my feelings, it may as well be a lie written by someone else."

"TIL: Studies have shown that people who annually experiance more birthdays tend to live longer. 'The more you know'"

"I used to be addicted to soap But im clean now"