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Joke of the Day

"How does Geppetto exact his revenge on Monstro the Whale? Marry a net maker"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls are extinct."

"I wish my cat would squirt me with the water bottle when I go to eat junk food."

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field."

"In high school they called me donkey dick. I got that name because... it was short for Donald Keith Richards."

"What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat ? A dirty kid !"

"Rat and a Mouse Q:What's the difference between a mouse and a rat? A: 1 has a less likely chance of survival in the dog pound"

"Right now a group of women at a baby shower are simultaneously saying, ""Awwww..."" while some knocked up chick holds up a tiny pair of socks."

"There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those who don't."

"[at aquarium] That's a lot of octopussys to have in a tank. ""Octopi"" Oh sorry...that's a lot of octopussys to occupy a tank."