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Joke of the Day

"UK Scientist: We've engineered a new species of cyanobacteria U.S. scientist: We've made pigs in a blanket 50% piggier"

"What's the nutritional value of an entire tube of cherry Chapstick? Asking for my two year old."

"today i won a raffle. received a life supply of marmite, one whole jar."

"i am asking my dad ""Dad you look tired."" ""Oh, you mean the dark circles under my eyes? Those are the shadows of my great deeds."""

"A fairy godmother but for breakups. She takes your phone and leaves alcohol and possibly your first cat."

"What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets."

"What's the difference between a Pokeman and a Pokewoman? Pokeballs"

"My friend uses 'supossebly' and I never correct her. I like her irregardless."

"English teachers' favorite knock-knock joke Knock-knock Who's there? To To who? *To whom*"

"Some girl is stalking me & has been telling ppl I'm her boyfriend. I'm flattered but I prefer to be the psychotic one in the relationship"