223066

Joke of the Day

"Two peanuts were walking down the street.... And one of them was assaulted"

"What do you call it when you flip a quarter and it lands on its edge. *coin*cidence"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they are dead."

"Helen Keler walked into a bar then a table.....then a chair."

"Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is a copy of your naughty list. Love, -Tim"

"What does it mean if you find a horse shoe? Some poor horse is walking around in his socks."

"What do you call it when a jugaloo sleeps with his girlfriend after a fight? Make up sex."

"Do we really need cheese AND other kinds of food? Seems greedy."

"I refused to buy my 5yo a tablet, and now she's resorted to hand-drawing angry emojis on pieces of paper to express her frustration."

"How do you make a cheeseburger sad? Make it with blue cheese!"