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Joke of the Day

"My wife cried when I bought her a car... It was a Saab."

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who gets shit and pissed on all the time? John"

"Ladies: we're not fooled by your PMS trickery. I see how happy you are in those tampon commercials."

"A man's Wife says that she wants something that goes from 0-180 in under 10 seconds.. The man leaves for a moment and then returns with the scale from their bathroom."

"Original (Dad's) pun: Sticks float. They would."

"'A confident swipe of the debit card' is my favorite fantasy."

"Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour ? Pupil: Because it can't sit down !"

"What did the waiter ask the group of Jewish mothers? Is *anything* okay?!"

"I had an arguement with a philosophy major I told him NO, I don't want avocado on my footlong!"

"My friends say I'm frugal. I'm not buying it."