139697
Joke of the Day
"What do you call an angry Russian? Pissdov"
Next Joke
"How do you know when it is bedtime at a pedophile's house? When the big hand touches the little hand."
"[on the phone] wife: My mom tripped over the dog me: Is she ok? wife: Yeah me: Can I talk to her? wife: Sure *calls for the dog*"
"When I get in a crowded elevator I can't stop myself from trying to guess everybody's weight."
"I wait tables with an obnoxious ex-mechanical engineer... ...he's always going on and on about the restaurant's utensil modulus."
"Why is Santa's ball sack so big? He only comes once a year."
"CARPET SALESMAN: [sighing, handing me another sample] What about this one for your bedroom? ME: Hmmm no that one is also far too small"
"French Joke Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? A. The French Army."
"Doc: So you're not sleeping? Me: nah D: how much water do you drink? M: a glass a day D: Alcohol? M: 4 glasses D: Coffee? M: Yes, please"
"Arrived home last night to find a man trying to steal my front gate. I didn't abuse him though, I thought he may take a fence."