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Joke of the Day

"[creation of insects] LIGHTNING BUG: I will illuminate the night BEE: I will pollinate flowers FLY: I will eat shit and die"

"What does the old Nazi call his favorite reclining chair? Mein Kampfy chair."

"Why was the monkey attracted to the paint? Cuz it was yellow and appealing! Sorry if this is bad. Seen too many of the same jokes here and I wanted to add an original joke."

"What do you call a sick eagle? Illegal."

"A seven year old girl goes to subway and orders a footlong Jared delivers"

"If you're happy and you know it, thank your ex."

"I'd prefer to read Yelp reviews from the kind of person who would never write a Yelp review."

"I'd tell you a good time travel joke But you didn't get it"

"""You make as much sense as taking a blind man to a silent movie!"""

"classical music sounds really fancy and proper for something composed by guys who threw a bucket of their turds out the window every morning"