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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the skinny guy that visited Alaska? I guess he came back a husky fucker."
Next Joke
"Just read an amazing book called ""Zero Gravity"" I couldn't put it down!"
"What did Delaware? A New Jersey"
"Computer: Do you trust this device? Me: Why? Is there something you're not telling me?"
"What was the name of the lumberjack in Al-Quaida? Osama-Been-Loggin'"
"If I tell you I can't text you because I'm driving it's only because I'm also eating."
"My fake ID's finally ready. Can't wait to order off the kids' menu!!"
"Tell someone you love them today because life is short. But SHOUT it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing"
"The Five Stages of Christmas Shopping Grief: - denial - anger - strong language - moderate violence - a lifetime ban from Toys R Us"
"People that say ""God never gives you more than you can handle"" never met my ex-girlfriend."