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Joke of the Day

"Some ppl are like, bury me and plant a tree so I live on in nature and I'm like, same but plant potatoes so I can live on in french fries"

"What do you call backup milk? *Secondairy*"

"Me: Do you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon? Coach: Me: Coach: Me: Oh. You said HUDDLE up, didn't you?"

"You can't break an electric toothbrush If it stops working, it becomes a toothbrush."

"How do you fit 15 Jews into a car? 2 in the front,3 in the back,and the rest in the ash tray."

"My father had a stroke he's all right now."

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't fuck a sandwich before I eat it."

"Grandma got bussy.... I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"The prequel to 16 & Pregnant could be called ""15 & Fully Trusted By Her Parents to Make Good Decisions, We Love You Brittani."""

"Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chic is you."