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Joke of the Day

"Has anyone ever seen Matthew McConaughey and a statue made out of overcooked bacon in the same room together"

"I sexually identify as a Canadian... I'm eh-sexual."

"Chimney Sweep Lady chimneysweep is a real fluesie"

"Congratulations on being hired by Super Cuts & welcome to day 1 training. Let's get started These are called scissors *collective aww*"

"Hey girl is your name Karl Marx? Cuz you're starting an uprising in my lower classes"

"What's the worse quality of a hermit crab? They're too shell-fish!"

"I was reading in the paper today... about this dwarf that got pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?"

"Whats long and black and hard to cut into? The line at KFC"

"Parenting is no different than a bear attack. Curl up & play dead and they usually leave you alone."

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *choking noise*"