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Joke of the Day

"I sexually identify as a Canadian... I'm eh-sexual."

"Why did they put Harriet Tubman on the twenty dollar bill and not Barack Obama? Because if that were the case, you'd never get change."

"I always ask Subway workers if THEY want double meat, then wink. Then I get kicked out."

"Me: Can't wait to sit on my front porch with my black cat and frighten children. Coworker: I love Halloween. Me: I meant after work today."

"Monorail joke I love making jokes about monorails, they make the best one-liners!"

"Girlfriends are similar to Chrome They use too much of your resources"

"What do you call a self help book for a Country Music singer? Drink, Pray, Truck"

"My friend, Jack, is a pilot I said one day, ""hi,jack"" He.shot me."

"My new hobby is sitting outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say ""You can see me?"""

"So I was going down on my girlfriend... ...When I tasted horse semen. I then screamed ""So grandma! That's how you died!"""