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Joke of the Day
"A thief stole a toilet from the police station. At this point they have nothing to go on."
Next Joke
"Doc: have you been displaying any symptoms of vampirism? Me: I've been.. Doc: ... Me: ... Doc: ... Me: ... Doc: ... Me: Coffin. Doc: get out"
"If you ever see me with one of those stick figure family bumper stickers it means I'm dead and someone is wearing my skin"
"Don't sweat the petty stuff Always take time to pet the sweaty stuff"
"Time Machine I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday. They don't make them like they're going to anymore."
"LPT: A lot of people cry when they chop onions, the trick is not to form an emotional bond."
"""How did the blind girl explain her pregnancy?"" She said she didn't see him coming"
"and on the 8th day god created drugs and everybody was like ""thanks god you're the shit"""
"Why did Jesus Christ go to the doctor? His resurrection lasted more than four hours."
"How can you tell when you're in a ring of fire? When you reach for the Preparation H and accidentally grab the Ben-Gay"