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Joke of the Day

"Time Machine I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday. They don't make them like they're going to anymore."

"A saxophone is like a lawsuit. Everyone is happy when the case is closed."

"People come up to me all the time in the street and they ask me, they ask me: ""Say, Paul, what's the Mahabharata?"" And I say to them, I say, ""Oh, just a bit of light reading."""

"Where does one drown a hipster? In the mainstream."

"CASHIER: would you like to donate one dollar to charity? ME: no thank you SATAN (sitting on a throne made of human skulls): excellent choice"

"Prostitutes What do you call three prostitutes? Hoe Hoe Hoe"

"How do Italian Jews like their bread? With-a matzah holes in it."

"Why don't witches wear underwear? They have to grip the broom."

"what did the drummer say to the Chinese man that called him gay? first i bang the drums then i bang ur mom"

"What's the difference between eating pussy and driving in fog? When you're eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you."