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Joke of the Day
"I'm giving up drinking. ... Hard liquor. ... On Wednesdays."
Next Joke
"*pulls out stack of pancakes and completely stuffs mouth during interview* Nexft queffstun pleeazse ""Umm. Your biggest weakness?"" Panfccakes"
"At least Stevie wonder was faithful, he never saw any other women during his marriage."
"What's large, black and steals your credit cards? Sony Playstation"
"What if condoms had temporary tattoos on the inside like you rolled off the condom and there was a picture of a dinosaur on your dick."
"What's the similarity between designer jeans and cheaply made castles? No ballroom"
"Want to feel old? Tsar Simeon I of Bulgaria would be 1,150 years old today!"
"Jeb says hes good at fixing things and I don't doubt him... People who voted in Florida during the 2000 presidential election know what I'm *talkin* about."
"I'm struggling to think of a name for this new app that compares acid and mushrooms. Sadly ""Tripadvisor"" is taken"
"What's the difference between falling from the 1st and 10th floor? Falling from the 1st floor: SPLAT! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Falling from the 10th floor: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! SPLAT!"