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Joke of the Day

"Oral contraceptive I recently had an experience with oral contraceptives. I asked a woman if she would like have sex with me. She said, ""No""."

"When I die, I want to go out like my Grandfather... in his sleep... Not like the other passengers in his car!"

"Why don't chickens wear underwear? Because their pecker is on their face."

".@Oprah If I were as rich as you I'd shit on the floor & tell a senator to pick it up."

"I can't believe I just found out R.E.M. split up. I suppose the rest of the band just weren't Michael's type."

"I recently bought a teddy bear named Muhammad... for $10. And a week later, sold it for $20. The question is, did I make a Prophet?"

"Mary had a little lamb.. And then she had a very large kebab."

"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Every time she gets to 69, she has a frog in her throat."

"Did you hear about the blind dog that never got lost? It really nose it's way around."

"What's Bill Clinton's favorite instrument to play? His whore Monica."