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Joke of the Day

"The bloke who invented the time machine has died. RIP Dave Jones. 1974 1746."

"I've spent 50% of my life learning how to live without drugs and alcohol and the other 50% happy."

"My doctor gave me six months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill. He gave me another six months."

"Have you ever heard of the similarities between a choo choo tran and a brthday? Neither have i"

"How do you make God laugh? Tell him your plans."

"It's scary to think that people like you are graduating from college."

"How do you confuse a jew? Put him in a circular room and tell him there's a quarter in the corner"

"Why can't you tell a Philosophy Student a good joke? You need to give a three hour lecture and turn in a research paper on ""What is 'good'?"" first."

"I had a job at a lumber yard, but I soon got board."

"Sometimes I lie in bed at night, looking up at the stars and think Where the hell did the ceiling go?"