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Joke of the Day

"My dad worked on a car assembly line for 40 years. He retired years ago but still struggles with post pneumatic press disorder."

"Sure, Canada, feel safe now while US is just after oil. Wait 'til we run low on beer, ice, hockey players & f'd up ways to pronounce words."

"I have a bumper sticker that says ""Honk if you think I'm sexy"" I then wait at green lights 'til I feel better about myself."

"My penis is so polite..... .....it stands up to give ladies a place to sit down."

"I wish I'd get as emotional about politics as I do about a chip breaking off in the dip."

"Why did the Aggie think the weatherman got the sunny forecast wrong? -The Aggie drove through a car wash"

"What did the buffalo say to his son who's leaving for college? Bison."

"Why is Santa's sack so big? He comes once per year."

"Dear women, 3 reasons why you need to accept we men are mature. No 1. We know what upsets you. No 2. Hahahahahaha... I said ""number 2"""

"So I met a vegan. I'd finish the joke, but she's still talking."