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Joke of the Day

"There are two kinds of people in this world... Those that can extrapolate from an incomplete statement,"

"There was a French chef... ...And one day he was extremely angry and said he is going to quit. Another man asked him ""why?"" Then the chef said ""All the food is out of date and I've just had un oeuf"""

"What do you call a hard rock fan going through gender reassignment surgery? A transition metal."

"Teacher : Make up a sentence using the word lettuce ! Pupil : Let us out of school early !"

"I am really feeling like a bicycle today. Too tired!"

"What kind of shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans."

"Clean sheet day!! *brushes Pringles crumbs over to his side of the bed*"

"Waiter there's a dead fly in my soup! Yes sir it's the hot water that kills them."

"I was speaking to my friend He was telling me about a plan he had to change all the numbers in the world into roman numerals. I said ""Not on my watch"""

"""Maybe connect two monocles together? Pretty good idea. I have to write this down."" - the guy that invented the pen"