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Joke of the Day

"Black person: Jeans $200, Shirt $100, Shoes $160, pockets.. $0 White Person: Jeans $15, Shirt $20, Shoes $30, pockets $5,000"

"I was reading in the paper... And I read about some midget that got pick pocketed. I thought to myself, ""Who could stoop so low?"""

"Police now use an iPhone app that scans irises to ID suspects. It replaces their previous method: scanning for dark skin"

"I am never too old to redecorate your garden gnomes in the middle of the night."

"confucius say when you take old hooker to all you can eat seafood you walk away with a big bag of crabs"

"What do you call a family of redheads? Gingerbread. Edit: This is more of an out-loud joke. So, maybe it'll help if it read: ""Ginger-bred"" instead."

"My wife saw an ad in a window Which said ""tampons 50cents"" Is that true, she asked the shopkeeper... Very true, he said....""no strings attached"""

"TIFU by eating a U-Boat. Whoops, wrong sub."

"Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? They got 6 months each"

"Ruffled feathers ahead. What do you call a woman that is never late, can actually drive a car and doesn't need help killing spiders? Bruce Jenner."