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Joke of the Day

"My mom likes to play this game called ""yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can't hear her""."

Next Joke
 
"My girlfriend and I joke about which of us is more competitive. But, I joke about it waaaay more than her."
"What did the pro bono plastic surgeon say to their patient on Dec 31st? Happy new ears Eve!"
"[me as a poltergeist] *putting forks in the spoon section of the cutlery drawer* ooooOooOooooo"
"Santa and Banta Santa: Why did people stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson? Banta: Because people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes.."
"Apparently, when your boss asks you to get a cake for a coworker's 60th birthday, 'cake' is not code for 'stripper.' Live & learn, guys."
"Honey, I slept with a stranger tonight. April Fools'. It was your sister."
"Never kick a porcupine wearing flip flops. Cause they're obviously on vacation and why ruin their holiday?"
"Man has sex with a can of beans. He was porkin' beans."
"My penis is only two inches From the floor"