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Joke of the Day
"The Doctor said I should stop with all this phone sex. He said I might get hearing aids."
Next Joke
"Why do women live on average two years longer? Because the time they spend parking doesn't count."
"I asked my mom where she went to get groceries and if she would tell me if anyone died in game of thrones. She said... Jons, no"
"What comes at the end of every Ray Rice joke? the punchline"
"I just called. To say. I texted you."
"If you work at the office in a police station... Does that make you an officer?"
"I'm like the weatherman and all this snow lately... ...always telling them it's going to be 12 inches but really only giving them 2."
"I just bought a new pair of sunglasses for whoever finds them in 3 weeks."
"Depressed? Just imagine Ozzy Osbourne struggling to pour a giant jar of change into a Coinstar."
"Yo momma joke Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, ""I need your weight not your phone number."""