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Joke of the Day

"It's getting colder and colder outside, and my wife does nothing but looks through the window. If it goes on like this any longer, I think I will have to let her in."

"Dude on tv just said, ""Where there's fat, there's flavor."" He was talking about food, but I took it as a compliment."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic science teacher? He was teaching the Law of Conversation."

"What do you call someone with two noses? No one nose."

"[meeting at amc network] ""Okay so how can we make everyone in Walking Dead look like they smell even worse this season?"""

"I like to test the waters by pushing people in.????"

"My arm tried killing me last night I told him ""nice tri"""

"What language do lesbians speak? Gaelic."

"Last night, Gotye won Record of the Year. Parents were like, ""Who's Gotye?"" while their kids were like, ""What's a record?"

"There's a wormhole in the center of my bagel.... ""Of course, that's not a Cinnamon-Rosen bagel....you bought an EINSTEIN-Rosen bagel!"""