131254

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the dyslexic science teacher? He was teaching the Law of Conversation."

"First boy: Are you having a party for your birthday? Second boy: No I'm having a witch do. First boy: What's a witch do? Second boy: She flies around on a broomstick casting spells."

"Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead."

"Tell her she's glowing and watch her do the mental math on when her last period was"

"If we are what we eat... ...children in Africa don't exist."

"Any day now Trump and Pence are going to pull off their masks and reveal that they're Kang and Kodos from The Simpsons"

"I'm not a ""stalker"". I want to make sure you're okay at all times. You can look at me as an unpaid bodyguard."

"Soliciting a blowjob is illegal. Soliciting a blowjob is illegal, but betting a whore $50 she can't swallow your cum isn't."

"[interrogation] ""Where were you on the night of the 5th?"" ""Dealing drugs."" ""Louder for the tape?"" [leans in] ""Healing pugs. I'm a pug vet."""

"What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny."