73291

Joke of the Day

"[funeral] *walks up to give eulogy* *pulls notes out of pocket* ""Frank was a weirdo that bit his toenails."" *folds notes* *sits back down*"

"Oral makes my day, but anal makes my hole weak!"

"The Internet. The internet: Where Men are Men, Women are Women, and children are the FBI..."

"If Batman doesn't wear underwear with my picture all over them, then this relationship is as one-sided as I feared."

"What does a redneck Buddhist believe in? Reintarnation."

"Parliament should learn from Twitter, thousands of people shout here doing nothing productive, yet it never gets adjourned."

"What do you call customers at Lidl? Lidl people."

"How many cashiers does it take to change a light bulb? ""Are you kidding? They won't even change a five dollar bill."""

"To all new iPad owners. When you masturbate in front of your new device, make sure to put some porn on its screen to avoid embarrassment."

"Guess who I bumped into at the opticians? Everybody"