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Joke of the Day

"There has been a multiple thefts of rubber bands in our office... I guess you can say we have a Rubber Bandit"

"Ever notice how loud the sound of a beer can opening up is at the gym."

"When a boy turns 12 he is given the choice between a big dick or a good memory... I can't remember what I picked"

"TIL: They're making a sequal to Brokeback Mountain... Called Sore Ass Pass."

"Meanwhile back in class... Teacher : How much is a gram? Me: Depends on what you are looking for ... Teacher : GET OUT! NOW! Me: So, did you still need that, or naw?"

"What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot, you fucking racist."

"So I finally figured out how click bait works..."

"Dear rock bands, If I am at your show, assume I am both ready and willing to rock. No need to ask."

"What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton? Bill has had sex in the White House."

"[during sex] Can you please take your Fitbit off."