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Joke of the Day

"What is DJ Khaled's Favorite Number? 11 because it has another one"

"What's the difference between PHP and PCP? One makes you: * feel numb * see things that aren't there * panicked and paranoid * feel loss of control over your actions. The other is a synthetic drug."

"Do we even know if ducks can fart? We should put a guy on that."

"I'm not stupid"

"When I was young I used to poke holes in my parent's condoms so that there could be someone else to do the dishes."

"Autocorrect: Without it you're fucked. And with it you're ducked."

"The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes."

"Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia ? The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back."

"Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble? Its true....Comet cleans sinks!"

"Wanna know how I tell my sister is on her period? My Dad's dick tastes like blood."