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Joke of the Day

"Armed man come in to the bank an told everyone to be cool, so i put my shades on an lent against the wall... Fucker still shot me!"

"I saw a guy today with soot all over his face carrying a large pick axe and wearing a royal blue hardhat that matched his overalls. But these are just miner details."

"Knock Knock, Who's there? Fuckin' Jenny. Now gild me and give me upvotes."

"Did you hear the one about the Vegan diet? Really? I'm shocked they didn't tell you already."

"I painted my computer black so it would run faster. But it was shot before it could start running."

"I don't like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth."

"How can you tell that microchips are made in the US and not the UK? Because if they were made in the UK they would be called microcrisps."

"What did Nietzsche call his Yiddish cab driver? An Uber mensche."

"I was an army sniper, until I was discharged. It must have been my accuracy. It was very hit and miss."

"I have a wig, I have an orange, ugh Donald Trump"