1386

Joke of the Day

"A grasshopper sits at the bar... ...and the bartender says, ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" The grasshopper says, ""You have a drink named Steve?"""

"You know what we call comedy gold in the chemistry world? Ha2Au (I'm sorry, also the 2 should be sub-scripted but reddit wouldn't let me do that)"

"Why did the chicken get an ouija board? To contact those who had crossed over to the other side."

"What did Davey Crocket say at the Alamo? ""Where'd all the roofers come from?"""

"Who is the commander of cheese? Sargento"

"How did the prostitute get promoted? She slept her way to the top!"

"What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza? A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four"

"The therapist told my wife and I not to go to bed angry... we haven't slept in 36 years."

"If you're 17 and your 200 year old lover won't turn you into a vampire so you can be together forever, he's just not that into you."

"Protip: Never look up from your breakfast if you hear the words ""gruesome discovery"" coming from your TV on the morning news."