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Joke of the Day

"A grasshopper sits at the bar... ...and the bartender says, ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" The grasshopper says, ""You have a drink named Steve?"""

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"I've finally finished my fresh herb cookbook It's about thyme"
"How many Shia laBeouf's does it take to change a lightbulb? NonononononononononoNONONONONONO! NONONONONONONO! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO! (he can't.)"
"How can you waste food when there are starving children in...ew onions."
"How do you keep a blonde in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow."
"Me: I've lost my kitten Cop: How would you best describe him? Me: He looks like a miniature cat"
"German math If a train leaves Berlin travelling east at 30kph and another train leaves Munich travelling south at 25kph. How many Jews can be killed in 5years?"
"A new study finds that sausages are often linked to other sausages"
"Is it considered rude to ask your boss if it hurt when the house fell on her in The Wizard of Oz?"
"I've seen some bad thieves in my life before... But this one couldn't even take the cake!"
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