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Joke of the Day

"If you're 17 and your 200 year old lover won't turn you into a vampire so you can be together forever, he's just not that into you."

"Why are people afraid to play poker in Africa? Too many Cheetahs."

"Good cop: If you just let us know where the body is, we'll let you go Bad Batman: Ben Affleck"

"Misty's boss says to her: ""You've been late to work for 5 days straight! You know what this means, don't you?"" ..... ...to which Misty replied ""I SURE do! It means today must be FRIDAY!!!"""

"Policeman: Didn't you hear my siren? Motorist: Sure that's why I sped up."

"A man sends 10 puns to a pun contest in hopes he would win. To his surprise, 6 puns in ten did."

"""Do people really become like their pets?"" I wonder, absentmindedly raising a leg above my head and staring into space."

"What do you call a fruit that won't get married? A Cantaloupe."

"Why was number 4 blushing? She saw 2 and 3 halving six"

"Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done."