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Joke of the Day

"Protip: Never look up from your breakfast if you hear the words ""gruesome discovery"" coming from your TV on the morning news."

"I'm should probably update everyone who wrote ""Have a great summer!"" in my high school yearbook. It was okay."

"What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do with most of his time? Stay up all night wondering if there is a Dog."

"Ha ha A little bit ask his mom for a quarter she said for what he said for being good she said why don't you be good for nothing like your daddy. Lol"

"If your ringtone is my alarm sound, you can go straight to hell"

"What do you call it when a gay man is taking a poop? Filling a bowl of fruity pebbles."

"Why is a good husband like bread dough? Because his wife needs him."

"HURRICANE SANDY UPDATE Mitt Romney has advised everyone in the path of Hurricane Sandy to make their way to their 2nd or 3rd homes immediately."

"I'm not saying you started that fire, Billy Joel; I'm just saying that innocent people don't write songs to defend themselves."

"Jose Cuervo showed up at his girlfriend's house with a gun... Tequila"