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Joke of the Day

"I don't think my wife likes me very much when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance."

"Human drinks a Vampire's blood. Out of curiosity, the Vampire asks what it tastes like. ""It's irony."""

"The secret to my success lies with you having a poor grasp on it's definition."

"looking for a great stand up comedy show? just watch the GOP debate"

"Me: Do not 'K' me again. Daughter: Que Me: In any language. Her: Si This is why I'm crazy."

"A priest and a nun walk into a bar. The priest says ""Can I get a drink?"" The nun says ""I got your drink right here"". o_o"

"Q: How do cats buy things? - A: From a cat-alogue!"

"Sometimes I find it hard to express myself because FedEx hears me breathing."

"Curiosity doesn't kill anything, stupidity does."

"What did the 80 grit sandpaper say to the 36 grit sandpaper? You're a little rougher than I'm used to, but I'll grit and bear it. I'm sorry, that joke was a little rough ;D"