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Joke of the Day

"I spilled a whole case of forks today..... ...you could say I forked up real bad"

"A man walks into a bar.. Ouch."

"Hi, famous people getting DUIs. You know you can probably afford a driver, right? Just a thought."

"My drug dealer sold me some shoes the other day... ...I dont know what he laced them with but Ive been tripping all day."

"Something good is coming my way I can feel it. Nothing life changing, probably just a hotdog God please let it be a hotdog"

"I feel like Neil deGrasse Tyson would be the most annoying person in the world to watch Space Jam with"

"What do you say when you find two banana peels together? Answer: A pair of slipper"

"""I'm so sorry"" and ""my bad"" can be used interchangeably Except at funerals."

"A german walks into a bar and orders one martini. The bartender asks: ""Dry?"" The German replies ""No, one you dumbass!"""

"Why did Princess Diana Cross the Road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt!"