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Joke of the Day

"Next time somebody tries to argue using statistics.... Remind them that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape."

"What does primate meat taste like? Oh, it has sort of an orangutang to it."

"Girlfriend asking her Boyfriend about her looks Girlfriend: ""Am I pretty or ugly?"" Boyfriend: ""You're both."" Girlfriend: ""What do you mean?"" Boyfriend: ""You're pretty ugly."""

"My neighbour has been playing the bongos for over an hour, and I thought he was meditating until I heard him sing ""Yeah, shake that shit..."""

"I ordered a coffee and the barista asked what size. I told her size didn't matter. We laughed. Then she gave me an extra large coffee."

"My autocorrect changes c**ts to China. Hey don't blame me. I'm not the racist code programmer."

"""Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."" ""Oh my god honey, what happened?"" ""I reposted the same goddamn joke too many times."""

"How do you know whether or not a redditor is Australian? They'll tell you."

"Bill Clinton right now, texting Monica Lewinsky ""You up?"""

"I have chronic diarrhea. My dad also has chronic diarrhea, and his dad had it too... It runs in our jeans."